Heart
by Mlle Lambert
Summary: It all started with a bullet...
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Heart

**Disclaimer:** Whoever owns them, owns them! If I did, I most certainly wouldn't just be writing the fanfics!

**Author's Note:** This idea came to me last night in a dream, so I thought I would put it into words. Please let me know what you think…and if you think it's worth continuing. Reviews are like chocolate cake to me! NOTE: This story has been re-uploaded to reflect some slight changes I made to the story.

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It had been a long, hard case to solve, but they'd finally done it. A murderer was in the back of a cruiser and on his way to a jail cell because of Detective Kate Beckett and Rick Castle. The partners couldn't help but feel a bit victorious at this, their banter echoing slightly off the surrounding alley walls. Yes, it had been a long day, but in the end, it had turned out to be a good one.

"So, what do you say we go down to the Old Haunt and celebrate another good case closed because of solid teamwork?" Castle asked with that usual smile of his that had Beckett responding in kind with a smirk of her own.

"Sorry, Castle, but sleep is a bit higher on my list tonight."

"Ah, come on! You know you wanna!" he practically begged.

They came to a stop at her car, where she shook her head with a now exasperated smile. She met his eyes and then looked away with a chuckle. "You're impossible, you know that?"

"I try," he shot back leaning into her slightly, a habit she'd recently noticed he'd been doing quite a lot.

She watched him for another long moment before finally sighing. "All right, Castle, but I can't stay out all night. I've been up for nearly forty hours—"

The next events happened in a matter of seconds. Castle glanced sideways just briefly as something seemed to catch his eye, that playful look turning to curiosity then to dire concern in a matter of milliseconds. He stepped toward her, hands pushing her away from the car.

Two gunshots rang out loudly in the small alleyway, followed moments later by the all-too-familiar sound of a bullet hitting flesh and also shattering glass. Beckett, having been thrown off balance, landed hard on her shoulder. She felt a crack, then shooting pain down her arm, but forced herself to ignore it. She heard someone hit the pavement nearby and focused in that direction.

"Castle!"

His blue eyes met hers. She'd never seen such seriousness in those eyes. It didn't belong there. She was only dimly aware of the high alert of every cop in the area, of the scuffle that quickly took place as an officer wrestled the gunman to the ground, or much of anything else, for that matter. She made herself crawl the short distance to the man who had just saved her life.

The bullet had hit him nearly square in the chest. He clutched it tightly, but that didn't stop the blood from pouring out between his fingers and onto the damp asphalt. This was bad. This was very bad. After quickly radioing a 10-13, Beckett tossed her handheld aside and helped him to put pressure on the wound. There was so much blood on him, on the ground, on her, but she didn't care. The only thing she cared about, she realized as he held her gaze solidly, was that he was still alive and stayed that way. He was her partner, her friend, her... She didn't even really know what he was.

Then it got more terrifying. Those eyes, growing more and more serious by the second, began the slide closed. His hand began to grow slack in hers. "No, no, Castle! You stay with me. I'm not letting you go anywhere!" she told him firmly, tears streaming down her face. "You hear me?" His eyes opened slightly, as if he somehow managed to hang on to consciousness just for her.

The paramedics arrived, forcing her away from him momentarily, but as they wheeled him to the ambulance, she promised, "You're gonna make it through this, you hear me?" His only answer was that unyielding gaze before he finally gave into the pain and whatever drugs they might have given him on the spot and lost consciousness.

They rode together. Beckett winced at the pain in her shoulder from every bump as the EMTs fought to save Castle's life. There was so much blood. She couldn't stop thinking about how much blood had been left at the scene and how much he was still losing. That thought made the ride go so quickly that before she could really process what was happening, the paramedics had whisked Castle away to an operating room and a doctor was looking over her shoulder. Even hours later, her arm in a sling, Beckett still could not quite comprehend the events of earlier that night.

She came back to the world as Alexis shifted in what had to be an uncomfortable position against Martha's shoulder. The older woman met Beckett's eyes silently, her own full of worry and doubt that her son would live. One bullet had just nicked a vein near his heart and lodged there. The other had missed him entirely, shattering her car's front driver and passenger windows and lodging in the brick wall at the scene. Castle's doctor said he could make no promises when he'd talked to them last, and that was three hours previously. To put it mildly, all three of them were quite possibly facing one of their worst fears come to life.

Beckett knew she was. Worse, the adrenaline from the shooting had long since worn off and the pain medication paired with that was making it hard to concentrate or even stay awake. The cup of coffee she had forced down earlier hadn't really helped, and she wanted so badly to sleep. The thought of Castle kept her from that temptation, however. She couldn't leave now—not when every moment could be his last.

She was starting to drift when she heard her name.

"Kate," the man said again.

Her eyes fluttered open. It was Josh. _Josh._ Without a word, she stood up and threw her good arm around him. He hugged her back gently, as if afraid she might break. She felt the warm moisture on her cheeks again as she had many times in the past several hours. Pulling away, Josh looked at her with worry in his eyes. "Have you slept at all?"

She shook her head. "I can't. What if there's news?"

Josh looked down, back up at her, then to Martha and Alexis. There was. "Ms. Rodgers, your son just came out of surgery. We finally got the bleeding stopped, and he's stabilized, but he's not out of the woods yet. There was some to his left pulmonary vein, but at this point we're more worried about the blood loss he's incurred. Other than monitoring him, all we can do now is wait."

"Thank you, doctor," Martha said softly. Alexis, who was now wide awake, held her grandmother's hand like a three year old at the supermarket.

"Thank you, Josh," Kate told him. "You have no idea how much this news means."

Josh nodded. "Now, will you please go home and get some rest?

She had to admit that forty-eight hours of no sleep was beginning to catch up with her, so she nodded. "You know, right before… Rick was trying to convince me to go down to the Old Haunt for a drink. If I'd have just said yes and not tried to argue, he have might be okay right now."

Josh said nothing to her comment. He just shook his head and repeated, "Go home and rest," before walking briskly back down the hall from which he'd come.

"He's right, dear," Martha told her. "You really should get some rest. And don't try to blame yourself for this. You told me yourself that he pushed you out of the way. If you'd said yes to his request right off, you might be the one in there right now, and not him. He probably saved your life."

Kate nodded and thanked her, realizing that this is almost exactly what she'd done when her mother died. The "what ifs" had nearly driven her crazy back then, and if she kept doing the same thing now, it wouldn't be much different. Bidding them farewell, she called a cab and headed home.

Thirty minutes later, key turning in the lock, it really hit her. The man she had begun to consider a friend had taken a bullet for her, literally. What if he never made it through this and she never got to thank him? What if she never got to look into those eyes again or see that smile? What if she never had that chance to tell him how she really felt about him? Or what if he survived? What would she do then? She slipped inside her apartment, allowing the door to close. Setting the deadbolt, she slid down to the floor, where for the first time in the nine hours since Richard Castle had saved her life, she completely lost it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Heart

**Disclaimer:** Whoever owns them, owns them! If I did, I most certainly wouldn't just be writing the fanfics!

**Author's Note:** Thank you to those who have reviewed and put this story on alert! It means a lot to me. I told one of you that I surmised Kate and Josh were still together, but that was before I saw this latest episode and the promo for the next, so this will clear up mostly everything regarding that relationship. I don't want to go into too much detail for obvious reasons that I like my stories to stick close to canon. I also took a few liberties with the promo without going into details that may be quite wrong once the episode airs... Either way, if you don't wish to read **SLIGHT SPOILERS for 3x13**, I would not suggest you continue for now! I also apologize for this taking a few days to get online as well as it being shorter than the first chapter and not really advancing the plot. As always, reviews make me love you!

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A phone was ringing. It brought her out of dream and into the nightmare that had become her life. She became aware of a crick in her neck as she moved her head against the hard surface it leaned against. Her door, she realized as her eyes fluttered open. Her cell phone rang again, vibrating in her pocket, and bringing her further into reality. She reached for it and answered the call without looking at the caller ID. "Beckett," she said tiredly.

"Kate, it's Josh," came the concerned reply on the other end of the line.

She sat up straight against the door. "Hey," she greeted, not sure how to continue the conversation but finally settling on, "How's Castle?"

"So far, so good. He's still stable. I just left the hospital. Do…you need me to come by?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. She really wished he hadn't asked her that. "Josh, please don't take this the wrong way. I'm grateful for what you did to save Castle's life tonight, but…"

"You don't want me to get the wrong idea about us," he finished for her, sounding a bit dejected.

"I'm sorry, Josh, but this doesn't change anything."

She heard a quick intake of breath. "I just thought…when you hugged me, it was as if the other night never happened."

"You were there," she told him softly, a bit of sorrow in her voice. "I needed someone, and when I saw you I felt so much _relief_. I knew he was in good hands."

A long pause. "It's him, isn't it? He's the reason you ended it."

She could have lied. She could have told him that Castle had nothing to do with this, and that she and Josh weren't good for each other, but she knew that wasn't the truth. Besides, she never was much for lying. "I don't know. I wish I could tell you yes or no, but the truth is I have no idea."

Another long pause. "I understand. I'll…let you go now. But honestly, as a doctor, I insist that you get some rest."

She opened her mouth to protest, but realized that crying oneself to sleep against a door was not really considered rest. So, with a goodbye, she stood back up and slipped the cell phone back into her pocket. She stumbled to the bedroom, shrugged off her jacket with some effort, and stepped out of her shoes before climbing into the warm comfort of what she hoped would be a restful sleep.

She dreamed of him. She heard the single shot ringing in her ears, her partner lying on the ground helpless, and those eyes. His eyes. Eyes that had always been so playful, so flirtatious, and so full of life had so suddenly become full of pain. That steady gaze in those few moments would haunt her for the rest of her life. She didn't think he had ever held her gaze that long and intensely, even that one time, when he'd kissed her... It seemed like so long ago now, she realized, since a moment like that had happened when in fact, they'd shared one only a few seconds before a good day had turned into a nightmare. Her subconscious took her back to that moment. The cocky, slightly flirtatious smile he always seemed to use in an attempt to get his way flashed through her mind, only this time there wasn't a gunman in the shadows. She dreamed that he took her to the Old Haunt and they had shared that celebratory drink, as promised. Then another. And another. An unnoticed invasion of personal space. His breath warm against her ear. A kiss. His lips were soft and tender against hers, asking for more, just like that night not so long ago, but before the kiss could become more heated, she woke to her lonely bedroom, once again faced with the reality that Richard Castle was fighting for his life.

Despite the sobering truth of the real world, she still ached for more of the dream. Even as she tried to picture it, however, nothing she conjured could compare to the only real intimacy they'd ever shared. She opened her eyes, looked at the clock, and let out an exasperated breath. Resigned to the fact that three hours of sleep would have to be good enough, Kate rose from her position carefully. A stab of pain from her shoulder elicited a small moan as the cracked bone made its existence known, as well as some other aching muscles from hitting the pavement so hard. She lay on the bed and let time pass, staring at the ceiling and wishing for the hundredth time that this existence was really the dream.

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Reviews? :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I can't say I'm completely happy with how this chapter has turned out, but I think it's about as good as it can get. The last little bit doesn't really flow as well as I'd like with the rest of the chapter, but I wanted to give you guys something since I start back to school tomorrow and may be a little hard-pressed to update frequently. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please note that I've also changed the first chapter to be a little more clear on his injuries.

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Showered and no longer dressed in clothes that told a macabre tale, Kate returned to the hospital. It was nearly 10 A.M., making it over fourteen hours since everything had changed. In the first two hours she'd been gone, Rick Castle's heart had stopped twice, but since then his pulse had been growing stronger. The repair to his pulmonary vein was holding. The survival rate had gone from less than ten percent upon arrival at the hospital to nearly seventy percent once he survived the surgeries alone. Upon hearing this news, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from Kate's chest. Things weren't perfect, but he would probably be okay.

About two hours previously, the two women had been allowed in to see Castle. Martha's was very obviously upset, an oddity for a woman who always seemed to embody a flamboyant sort of strength. Alexis was calm, but the puffiness around her eyes belied that she had been crying not long before Kate arrived. Once there, she somehow managed to convince an exhausted Martha to take Alexis home so they could both get some rest, but not before Martha made sure her son's visitation list included Kate Beckett's name.

She sat in the waiting room for an hour before she could gather enough courage to see her partner. When she finally walked into the room, she realized that nothing could have prepared her for the sight awaiting her in his hospital bed. He could have been sleeping for how serene his face looked, but the numerous wires and tubes dismissed any fantasy that she might have ever held. An IV of blood slowly fed into his body, replacing part of the 3 pints he had lost before arriving at the hospital. Another tube connected him to life support and obstructed his mouth from view. She didn't analyze the rest but took his hand in her own. It was cold and lifeless. She choked back the tears threatening to fall and squeezed lightly.

Beckett was silent for a long time before she finally figured out what to say. She told him about how the shooter was currently in lockup and that Esposito had called earlier to assure her that the guy was going away no matter what. She talked to him more than she ever had before, harboring the hope that maybe he could hear her—that maybe talking would make a difference—but more than that, she touched him. She couldn't help it. She stroked his hand and arm, brushed her fingers through his hair, did whatever she could to stay close to him as if his and her life depended on it. "It's weird, you know… talking to you, but you don't say a word. I never thought I'd admit something like this, but I miss you already. You better not die on me, Castle. You…" She paused, looking out the window to get her bearings before her eyes settled back on his face. "I can't lose you."

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Alexis and Martha came back around five, but neither of them looked well-rested. They immediately asked if there was any change. When Beckett shook her head in reply, it seemed they could not decided whether it was good or bad news.

"It was strange not to see him in his office working or in the kitchen," Alexis commented to Kate. "It doesn't feel right."

"Yes, I'm afraid that without Richard, home just isn't home," Martha continued along the same track.

"I miss him already," Alexis said, using the same sentiment that Kate, herself, had used only hours before.

Kate took the girl's hand in hers and met her eyes. "He'll be back soon enough," she told her, forcing a weak smile, "and you'll wonder why you ever did."

Alexis returned her gesture with a watery smile. "Thanks, Detective Beckett."

"Please, call me Kate."

Martha's hand reached out and grabbed Kate's free one. She looked over to the older woman. Martha mouthed the words "thank you" and she nodded slightly, knowing exactly what they both must be going through.

They sat there for hours, the three of them sharing stories about Rick Castle. Laughter was only occasional, but the talk allowed them to cope with the facts of the present. Esposito, Lanie, and Ryan joined them around nine to help hold the vigil. Ryan could only stay thirty minutes, but he said he wanted to show his support. Esposito and Lanie stayed an hour longer, enjoying some of Martha's tales of a younger Castle and his adventures of caring for Alexis as a small child.

"Yes, he was quite clueless when it came to Alexis at first. I remember the calls asking about what to do when she was sick or crying." Martha rolled her eyes at the memory. "I would tell him that when he was a child, I would just make another martini and ignore him. Of course, that wasn't true, but what can I say? It got to a point where I couldn't go two hours without him calling me!"

Beckett had to admit the woman could tell a story. She knew where Castle had gotten the talent now. It continued like this for a while, and when Lanie and Esposito had to leave, Lanie gave her a quick hug. "If you need to talk, just give me a call, okay?"

"I will," she replied.

Esposito added, "The Captain told me to tell you that if you show up at the precinct before Monday, he'll have you thrown out." He looked her directly in the eye. "We can take care of anything that happens before then. You need to be here."

Beckett nodded. "I'll hold you to that."

"Always," he replied. "You take care."

As they walked away, she realized that she had somehow managed to surround herself with a group of amazing people who cared, and couldn't help but smile.

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The victim was a young African-American female with very piercing blue eyes. She was also very dead. Beckett found those lifeless and open eyes unsettling as she looked at her in the crime scene photos on the murder board, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together in a way that made sense.

"You know, I did a little research… You know how rare blue eyes are in people of African descent? Less than one percent," Esposito commented as he walked into the room.

They had yet to identify the woman from the crime scene. "Well, that should help us get an ID. No word from missing persons?"

Ryan shook his head. "Nothing yet. I've already had our guys expand the search beyond the tri-state area. We might get lucky."

Beckett nodded, turning away from the board and grabbed her coat. "Keep on it. I'm going to head back to the scene…see if anything sticks out."

Jane Doe had been found in a room at the St. Mark's Hotel. CSU had already done a sweep but that didn't mean there wasn't a clue. She doubted it, but she had to try.

Her cell phone rang with a number she didn't recognize. "Beckett," she answered.

"Kate, it's Martha. Sorry to bother you at work, but I wanted to let you know that he's awake."

The world seemed to stop for a moment. It had been nearly a week now since Castle had went down. He'd been in a coma, but the doctors had not been worried, telling them that it was normal after a trauma like that. It had been a waiting game ever since, with Kate calling or stopping in at the hospital every few hours to make sure there was no change. She had returned to her apartment every night since Saturday, knowing that it was just important that she be somewhat rested as it was that Castle recover. Of course, it hadn't helped her state of mind that she'd had really nothing to do until the homicide the day before.

Recovering from the initial thrill of shock at the news, she exhaled and closed her eyes. Leaning against her desk, she replied, "Thank you for letting me know. I'll be there shortly." She hung up and quickly answered her team's questioning looks. "Change of plans. Castle's awake. Let me know if anything shakes out with the case."

He was awake. For the first time in the last week, she actually felt like smiling. A giddy anticipation and nervousness bubbled up in her chest. With her new destination decidedly better than before, she headed for the elevator. Perhaps this day would turn out well, after all.

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Reviews are love! :-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone for the reviews and story alerts, etc! I have never gotten such glowing feedback from so many people and it makes me think I must be doing something right! And I hate to spoil it all by making you all mad at me with this chapter. It's short, for one, and among other things may not be exactly what any of us wanted. It sort of took on a life of its own, but I PROMISE I am not done with it yet!

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Castle's eyes moved to the door as she opened it. Beckett felt her heart give a little jump as their gazes met across the room. She smiled and he returned it, so glad to see those eyes and that smile after such a long week without them. There were no words in those few moments as she crossed to his bedside and immediately took his hand. He seemed a bit taken aback by this, staring at their clasped hands as if he wasn't sure how to respond before looking back up at her. She took a seat in the chair beside him, their gazes never once breaking.

They sat like that for a long time before she finally spoke. "You saved my life." It was a simple statement, but it conveyed all of her gratitude and emotion.

"I don't remember," he replied after a pause, looking away for the first time in minutes. He seemed to just notice that one of her arms was in a sling and looked genuinely worried. "You're hurt."

She looked down at the injury. "Oh, no… Well, I am, but it's nothing too serious."

"Sorry." He looked away again, obviously guessing where the injury must have come from.

"Rick, look at me." When he did, she continued, "It's just a hairline fracture. I'll have full use of my shoulder in a few weeks. It's a small price to pay compared to yours."

He didn't speak for a long time after that, for which he apologized. The medication they had him on made it hard for him to stay awake for very long, and also explained why he seemed so…subdued.

"It's strange," he mused after a moment. "I have this blank space where the past week has been. The last thing I remember is something about the Old Haunt and then I wake up here with them telling me what's happened."

Kate smiled at the memory. "You were trying to convince me to go out for drinks to celebrate getting our guy." When she continued with the rest, however, it was gone. "I had just conceded when you pushed me out of the way. I didn't have time to think why you'd done it before I realized you'd been shot."

"Why did he do it?"

"Revenge. The man we arrested that night was his brother, and once he figured out why we were there, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He saw my badge, so I was his target. I guess you saw him before he could get a shot off," she told him.

Rick squeezed her hand slightly but once again said nothing for a while. "You called me Rick," he commented, not looking at her.

She looked down at their hands, a little sheepish. They both knew she hadn't called him Rick for a long time—not since their first case together. He had been Castle ever since at first to maintain a sense of professionalism, and then as a force of habit. She opened her mouth to tell him why—that she'd nearly lost him and had been thinking a lot in the past few days about what she would change if he pulled through—because she knew if she didn't tell him now, she'd find some excuse not to do it later.

"I—"

A nurse interrupted her as she poked her head in the door. "Detective Beckett, I'm sorry to disturb you, but Mr. Castle needs to rest."

She nodded and thanked the woman, who entered the room and began checking Castle's vitals. Blue eyes stared back at her when she looked at him with an apologetic look. "We can talk more later, okay?"

She knew he could tell that she had been about to tell him something. He was too good at reading people not to know that, but he only gave her a slightly teasing smile and said, "I'll hold you to that, Detective."

With one final squeeze of his hand, she let go and headed for the door. Fingers on the handle, she turned back to him. "I'll see you later, Castle."

He only smiled and repeated the farewell. "See you."

Slipping through the door, Kate realized how close she'd just been to telling him everything about how she felt. Taking a few steps down the corridor, she stopped, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. Letting that breath out, she told herself she would never let herself get that close again. It would only be a mistake. It would never work out and their partnership and friendship would most likely end. No, she determined as she bid farewell to Martha and Alexis in the waiting room and left the hospital, it would never work. And with that thought, it went right back to how it had always been between them.

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Don't kill me, please! Like I said I'm not done! I'll be writing up the next chapter within the next week or so (I don't know when since school has just started) and get it posted as soon as possible! I am not going to leave it here, I promise. I just couldn't see Kate jumping in so quickly. She seems to have a tendency to talk herself out of things, especially when they concern her personal life, so this made sense. Please review! Even if you absolutely hated it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Okay, so first off I have to say that snow day + insomnia = UPDATE! So be excited because it's (I hope) a good one!

Secondly, I want to thank all of you who have reviewed and put this story on alert once again. I have gotten more feedback with this story than I think I have with ANY other story I've ever written on here! That means a lot to me and makes me think I must be doing something right. It's you guys who keep stories like this going because you keep me motivated to write more and update more frequently!

Third, I do want to cover a few logistical points:

- I know Beckett drives a Crown Vic in the show, but if you remember, the windows were shattered by the second bullet in Chapter One. I thought I'd treat our lovely detective and give her a new Impala cruiser.

- This chapter takes place six months after Castle is shot. Basically what I was trying to do here is treat it as if the "show" continued on with weekly episodes, etc., leading up to this. The italicized portions would be flashbacks pertaining to "episodes," that might happen should this be canon to the show itself. Hope that makes sense.

- I am so obsessed with getting the facts right by now that I actually looked up a general timeline for recovering heart patients... I need a life.

- Slight spoilers, once again, for "Knockdown." I really, really want Monday to get here.

Lastly, I apologize if Beckett seems really girly, but I approached from the standpoint that she is about to make a potentially life-changing admission. I'd be nervous as hell in her shoes, and it was really hard for me to imagine Beckett attacking this like it was nothing. So yeah, I'm done going on like a blathering idiot-hope you enjoy!

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Beckett pulled the Impala into a free space in the parking lot across from Castle's apartment, knowing she shouldn't be there. She tried to convince herself that this was a terrible idea and that she should leave. It was late, and he was probably about to go to bed. She looked at the clock in the dash, it's numbers reading nearly midnight, but the lights were still showing through the big windows on the top story.

It had been almost six months since the shooting, but she still thought about it every day. Castle had returned to the precinct three months previously, but had only come back in a full capacity a few weeks ago. During his initial recovery, it had strictly been via phone or if she'd stopped by his apartment. He'd begun complaining about the situation less than three weeks after his hospital discharge.

"_I want to go back," he commented, a forlorn tone in his voice._

_Beckett set her coffee cup down on "I know you do, Castle, but—" She paused a beat, letting out a breath "—I don't want you going out before you're ready."_

_He looked her directly in the eyes. "I am ready."_

_She didn't break his gaze. "Rick, listen to me. Going out in the field requires that you be fit for it. Running around catching murderers is hard enough without recovering from a major injury like yours. I can't let you do more damage than you can afford. Your recovery is more important to me than putting you in danger."_

She'd expected him to argue, but the shock evident on his face at her quick admission had created a quiet awkwardness. To his credit, he'd only let it last a few seconds before changing the subject, but it didn't stop her from thinking about it constantly. While she'd meant what she'd said that night, it didn't stop the fact that she had often found herself staring at the empty chair beside her desk that she had secretly come to know as _his_.

Of course, he'd continued to complain until they'd all relented and allowed him back into the precinct on a regular basis two weeks after that conversation. It was amazing how much you could accomplish by not shutting up about it. He still hadn't been happy about not getting to go on arrests, but as he'd told her when he'd first come back, he would take what he could get. Now that he was cleared to follow her around everywhere again, he was completely back to normal. He smiled and flirted with her incessantly, and often tried to get a rise out of her with his crazy comments. Despite the fact that it could be irritating, she was glad to have him back. It was like old times.

But at the same time, it wasn't. As much as she'd tried to convince herself that nothing would change—that their relationship would stay as it had before—everything had changed. On the surface, all of it was the same, but there was always that dark cloud hanging in the back of her mind. Sometimes, she thought she saw it in his eyes, too. She remembered all-too-clearly the day she almost lost him. She remembered not sleeping soundly until after he woke up and she knew he would be okay, and even then, she dreamed of those shots ringing out, those grave eyes, and the blood. It had taken those six months and lots of department-suggested therapy to overcome all of it, but even now, she would sometimes be bothered by nightmares. This was one such night.

Making up her mind, Kate got out of the car and marched purposefully through two crosswalks and into his apartment building, the conversation from earlier that day.

"_May I ask you a question that's been bothering me for a long time?"_

_Beckett scoffed. "You've been asking me random questions for three years… and you're just now deciding to ask my permission?"_

_Castle brushed it off. "What were you going to tell me that morning at the hospital?"_

_Beckett gave him a deer in the headlight look. Of all the questions he could have asked, it had to be that one. "That…" She knew she looked flustered and cursed herself for it, knowing he'd pick up on it. She blinked quickly and told a partial truth.. "That I'd missed you."_

"_Why, Beckett, I'm touched."_

_She rolled her eyes at his comment, dismissing further conversation on the matter, but she couldn't help but feel he knew she'd left something out._

She was outside his door a lot faster than she would have liked. She was beginning to have second thoughts. She hesitated while reaching for the doorbell, but refused to lose confidence and took that leap. When he answered the door, she saw his eyes go from mild annoyance to concern in mere seconds. Taking in his appearance (an old t-shirt, some sweats, and bare feet), she smiled tentatively.

"Beckett? Is everything okay?"

She decided not to complicate things right off with a response to that question. Instead, she opted for a simple "Can I come in?"

He didn't stop to think, but answered immediately, "Of course."

She stepped across the threshold, looking around for something to focus on—anything but him. The door clicked, she resisted the urge to turn around until he spoke again. "Please, sit down. Make yourself at home."

She thanked him, noting how tired he looked. Seeing his laptop sitting on the couch, she wondered how long ago he'd slept.

His gaze must have followed hers because he hurriedly went over and closed the computer. "Sorry, an idea just sort of came to me out of nowhere, and I needed to get it down."

Kate shrugged and shook her head with a smile, trusting his writing technique. He seemed as flustered as she felt. "I know it's late, I just…" She stopped, not sure how to continue now that she was actually here. She closed her eyes. She was nervous. Her heart was pounding so hard she swore he could probably hear it. When she opened her eyes again, she realized that while he'd invited her to do so, neither one of them had taken a seat.

He wasn't pushing her, as if he could sense that it was important she come by this admission on her own. She could tell, however, that he was very curious what was so special that she would come by his place so late at night to tell him and then delay the communication of it. To put it mildly, Katherine Beckett had not felt this nervous since her very first crush.

Finally throwing caution to the wind, she crossed the distance between them until they were mere inches apart. She saw him tense a little, and when her gaze met his, he seemed confused at the invasion of personal space. She spoke then, "When you asked me about the hospital, you surprised me."

"I gathered that."

"I wasn't completely truthful."

"That, too." His voice was low now, and she saw his eyes flick to her lips briefly before returning to lock with hers.

She did not waver with her next statement, "You took a bullet for me. You saved my life. I almost lost you, and despite the fact that part of me should have wanted to kill you for letting yourself get shot, somewhere along the line, I forgot to get to that part. I just wanted you to live. I hadn't felt that out of sync since my mother's murder. It made me realize how much I care about you—how much I need you. We're so much more than just partners, Rick. We're so much more than just friends. I dream about that night and I have since it happened. I see different outcomes. I see us going to the Old Haunt and having a good time, but I also see you dying, and how much I would have regretted not telling you how I feel. I almost lost you once, and I don't want to go through that uncertainty again."

He said nothing. He didn't move. She wasn't entirely sure he was even breathing. In that moment, he seemed mesmerized. Her mind flashed back to the last time she'd seen that exact expression. Cold night air, breathing uneven, heart beating rapidly… And like that night, she pulled him to her—only this time, she closed her eyes and let the kiss consume her.

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Cliffhanger? Yes. Ends here? Not a chance. Update soon? Will try for tomorrow or this weekend. Review? Yes, please! :-)


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I apologize for not getting this out sooner! A combination of factors, including no internet until late last night and some serious trouble writing the last part, sort of put a damper on things. So, anyway, here is the conclusion to this story. I may yet write more in this universe, so keep an eye out. Lastly, I want to send out a big THANK YOU to all of you for reading. I've gotten so much feedback for this story and I'm really proud of it for that reason. You guys are the best. Without further ado...

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Although she knew she must have taken him by surprise, Castle recovered quickly. His arms went around her waist, pulling her tightly to him. His lips moved hot against hers, deepening the kiss. She felt his heart, strong as ever, beating against her body, and her own did the same.

Moments later, a need for air necessitated they pull apart. She looked into his eyes. The confusion was still there, but there was something else, too—something far more primal. She combed a hand through his hair, tousling it. The resulting look made her smile. He returned the smile, his own hand coming up to caress her face, and she leaned into the touch. He dropped his hand down her neck and to the buttons of her coat. This time, he initiated the kiss, and she moaned against him at the sense of urgency. He peeled off her jacked and walked her to the couch. When her legs encountered the object, her eyes flew open and she broke the kiss, suddenly realizing what they were about to do. Almost immediately, he moved to her neck and began working on unbuttoning her blouse.

"Alexis?" she asked breathlessly.

"Friend's house," he mumbled, his breath tickling the sensitive skin behind her ear.

"Martha?"

"Mmm… Coming back tomorrow."

"Rick," she addressed him firmly.

He leaned his head back to look at her, his eyes full of arousal. His voice betrayed the same when he said her name. "Kate."

The spark of attraction she felt when he spoke encouraged her to plant a quick but passionate kiss on his lips. "Not here," she asserted, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to his bedroom.

At the foot of his bed, she turned to him, her hands going to his chest. Her fingers traveled over the material of his t-shirt until she reached the hem and pulled it over his head in one fluid movement. She stepped out of her heels and shrugged off her blouse once he'd unbuttoned it. Then he kissed her—not with the urgency of before but with a languid softness. Before long, they were lying beside one another on the bed, and there were no barriers between them. Basking in warmth and the feel of skin on skin, they played with fire—and was it ever a glorious heat.

* * *

Daylight was filtering through the window, bringing Kate Beckett to the waking world. Still feeling the lethargy of sleep, she stretched slightly and sighed. An arm tightened around her waist. She turned into his shoulder and breathed in the scent of him all around her. She couldn't help but smile at the memory of the night before. She opened her eyes. Rick Castle slept beside her, his breathing deep and even.

He did not stir as she propped herself up on her elbow to watch him sleep. Bringing her hand up to rest on his chest, it didn't take long to find the scar from the bullet that had nearly taken his life. She studied it for a moment, remembering how it had changed everything even when she'd denied it had.

"Good morning," she greeted softly when he moaned and his eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning," he replied with a satisfied smile, pulling her down for a kiss. "No work today?"

She shook her head. "I got the paperwork done last night before I came here." Snuggling against his body, she asked, "What about your plans?"

He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. "Mmm… I'm yours all day." When she was silent, he looked down at her. "Are you…okay about last night?"

She lifted her head to meet his gaze. Instead of answering verbally, she moved to straddle him, kissing first the scar on his chest and then his lips. She wanted him and made her intentions known. He blindly reached for a condom in the bedside table as she nibbled his ear, and they made love for the third time since the previous night.

* * *

Monday morning came too soon, and with it, so did another murder. Beckett ended her conversation with Lanie about their vic and hung up the phone as Castle walked into the room with the usual two cups of coffee—one for her and one for him. Without thinking, she took it from him and their fingers brushed. The resulting spark had her breath catching in her throat. Their eyes met and memories of their shared weekend flooded her mind. He took a seat in his chair, leaned in with a wicked smile, and whispered, "If you keep giving me that look, the whole precinct is going to know."

"What look?" she asked, looking away quickly.

He opted to change the subject, albeit only slightly. "We're going to have to tell them sooner or later, you know."

Beckett shuffled the papers on her desk, replying quietly, "No, we don't." She knew it was a lie, but she really did want to keep them a secret for as long as possible. It only complicated things—as if they weren't already.

"You know, it's only a matter of time before someone realizes that I'm bringing the same woman out to events and dates… The second time, for example."

She rolled her eyes. "I can't imagine why," she commented sarcastically, "and that is exactly why I won't be going to any of them."

"Why, Detective Beckett, I'm touched you think I meant you. I'm taking Alexis, of course!"

She glared at him briefly. "I'm serious."

"I am, too." She raised an eyebrow. He elaborated, "I mean about someone realizing you and I are…" He made a few gestures with his hands.

She smiled slightly at his antics, but still didn't look at him. "More than just friends?"

"Well…yeah."

"Relax, Castle. It's no big deal." She told him offhandedly before moving on to the topic of their latest case, consulting her notes. "Tox results showed high levels of alcohol in her system at time of death. She probably didn't know what hit her."

"It is a big deal, Kate. I don't mind the whole world knowing that I'm with you. Why do you?"

"Can we not talk about this now?" She rose and went to the murder board in the next room to write down the new information. He followed her, closing the door. "Castle," she voiced her irritation by simply using his name.

He said nothing, but she felt him come up behind her so her body was between him and the board. Usually, the invasion of personal space wouldn't bother her, but the proximity made her body want to reach for his. His scent surrounded her, fuzzing her mind so she couldn't think clearly. She wanted him. Badly. And he knew it. She stepped away from him and toward the door. Turning, she looked at the information they had compiled, but refused to meet the gaze she knew was trying to capture hers. They stayed as such for several minutes before she finally spoke, "I'm sorry, Castle. I just don't know if I'm ready to have my name all over page six. It's bad enough that I have people chasing me down because I'm 'Nikki Heat,' but this… My personal life is supposed to be just that—personal—not celebrity gossip."

"You've got the lab running the tire marks found at the scene, right?"

His complete topic change took her a moment to follow. "Um…yes. No results yet… Why?"

He pointed at one of the crime scene photos. "Because if I'm right, the car is what killed her."

Sure enough, the facial wounds on the victim made more sense if she'd been run over by a car. Paint flecks had been found at the scene and on the victim. Now that they knew it was probably from a car, Beckett called the lab to have them run the paint flecks, as well. Cross-referencing them with the tire treads would give them the make and model and at least give them a starting point. By the end of the day, however, it didn't matter. The victim's stepfather, overcome with guilt, turned himself in.

"You know, I know sometimes you get these, but I would have written it differently," Castle mused as an officer led the man away.

"Of course you would, Castle. You've got to keep it interesting so your fans keep coming back for more," Beckett shot back.

"Well, it kept you coming back, didn't it?" His low voice made her heart give a little jolt. "I probably wouldn't have met you otherwise."

"I beg to differ," she said with a smirk. "I would have found you just as annoying, though."

He shook his head at her teasing, then asked as nonchalantly as possible, "So…what are your plans for the evening?"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and decided to play along. "I was thinking of asking this guy I just started dating if he wanted to grab a bite to eat. What about you?"

"No plans whatsoever. I'll walk you to your car," he said with a smile. "Where were you thinking of going?" he asked as they headed for the elevator.

"Nice try, Castle. I'm not letting you crash my date," she teased with a smile.

He pressed the down button and the doors swept closed. "Really, where?"

Kate's smile widened. "Takeout at my place sound okay?"

"Not in the mood for going out?"

"Nope."

"Good, me neither."

They somehow managed to make it all the way to her apartment before they couldn't keep their hands off of each other any longer, and when her door slammed shut, she pinned him against the wall. Their lips met in searing passion and the floodgates that had been holding back every want—every fantasy—that entire day opened in a rush. She bit his lip lightly as his coat fell to the floor in a heap and she began working on buttons. Rick swung them around, this time pressing her against the wall, his own hands going to work on her clothing. By the time they made it to the bedroom, they were both on fire. He covered her body with his, and she thought she might explode with the need and anticipation. "In the nightstand," she whispered urgently.

They made love twice that night, and the takeout was all but forgotten. Hours later, as Rick lay sleeping beside her, Kate thought about how this had all come about. She turned toward him, ran her fingers across his cheek, and smiled. Nearly losing him had been one of the worst experiences of her life. With it had come the knowledge that if he never woke up she'd never get to tell him how she felt. It was amazing how much a near-death situation like that could spur people into action, even months later. She snuggled against his warm body, taking a moment to enjoy what they now had. "I love you, Rick," she mumbled against his shoulder as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_**A year later…**_

They heard the heartbeat first. It was fast and undeniable. Kate smiled nervously at her husband, who kissed her lightly as he held her hand. A few moments later, an ultrasound image of the child growing inside her came up on the monitor. Her heart melted.

"Beautiful," Rick said in amazement, "just like his mother."

Kate found herself speechless. At that moment, she didn't care if she was cursed with a miniature Rick Castle. She was in love all over again. "Six more months," she mused.

Rick squeezed her hand. "Six more months. I love you," he added with another kiss.

"I love you, too."

They both settled into silence then and simply watched. They could see its heart beating on the screen to match the sound. Kate's hand came up to his chest, fingers resting gently above his scar and he clasped her hand in his own. Their eyes never once left the wondrous image before them. It all started with a bullet, she thought, and it ended with a baby's heart beating.

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Tell me what you think. I'd love to hear from you. Once again, I hope you've enjoyed!


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